At this point I feel I am at expert level. No matter the task I can procrastinate with the best. I caught myself cleaning the same counter top again- not because it needed it, but because I didn’t want to face what was really on my heart.
Lately I find myself more aware of time; time spent, time wasted, time well spent.
How do we steward our time well?
I want to be present with my family, living out Gods purpose for my life. But, I always seem to let something steal my focus. It is usually in the form of overwhelm. I overwhelm myself with list, task, information, and the list goes on…
“Freeze State” is a newer phrase trending on social media that I can actually relate to. I can feel it coming on as the list I’ve created gets longer. My mind races through the lists on repeat but I can’t begin any of the tasks. I often end up focusing on a non related project instead of choosing discipline. I unknowingly choose distraction. I get busy with other things to avoid what I want to accomplish.
‘We fill our days with movement, but our hearts still feel restless’
Why is it so easy to let fear and overwhelm shut us down? I don’t have the answers. I am still figuring it out. <Obviously> I am currently sitting in my car in one of these states as I write this. I feel a calling toward my purpose and have for a while now, but I let distractions and overwhelm set me back over and over again. I look for quicker ways to see results, I look for newer information, I avoid task, and fall into cycles of questioning my qualifications and always, always end up asking “is this really my purpose?”.
Choosing what feels instead of what numbs
Things I am learning through this is to -continually be in prayer – seek Jesus first
I recently finished a Bible Study in the book of Nehemiah. The thing that stood out to me the most was Nehemiah’s prayer life. If you are like me, Nehemiah is not a book you’ve heard preached often. It’s tucked quietly in between all the prophets in the old testament. So just a recap, Nehemiah had a large calling placed on his life and the first thing he did was pray for two months! TWO MONTHS!
“Be still, and know that I am God” -Psalm 46:10
I don’t know about you but I don’t like to wait. I’m more likely to jump then panic, or lets say um, start a business then try to figure out how to run it – then panic when I don’t see results immediately (that may or may not have happened). Anyways back to Nehemiah, we can follow this trend through the short book of Nehemiah being faithful in prayer and we can see God who is always faithful. This is still applicable in our lives today. We should be faithful in prayer, focused on Jesus, and making sure our steps align with Gods word. I fully believe that is how we know we are living out our purpose. We can see this truth all the way in the beginning of Genesis – we are made in God’s image, for His glory.
I am flesh, I fail daily, but I am growing and learning. I know when I let distractions win I am choosing to let chaos take over. I know distraction will continue to be a battle because of the world we live in but my prayer is that I will continually and consistently seek Jesus first.
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